The 20lb Weight Of Anxiety

[Names have been changed for privacy]

Today I ran into someone I met about three weeks ago named Hannah. I first met her at the library with her daughter, Lilly. We had only shared a very simple conversation before, but today, when I walked in, I immediately recognized her. I sat down and began a conversation with her. She started telling me about her work and how she was trying to find things to do with her daughter this summer. After some more simple conversation, I asked her about a tattoo on her wrist that said “honest.” That opened a door.

She began telling me about her life’s journey of learning to be honest with herself. She shared how she tends to be very empathetic and often takes on others' burdens, but never really knew how to share her own. She told me she always felt like the black sheep in her family. She had gone to a very small Catholic school until sophomore year, then transitioned to a large public school where she felt out of place.

Eventually, years ago, she met a guy. She described their relationship and how they tried to learn to be honest with one another and express emotions. She said she never wanted to be a burden to anyone but was learning how to cope. She had lost all her friends and made that man her everything. She admitted she deserved better but settled because, for the first time, she felt like she could express just a little of what she was holding inside. That relationship eventually ended, and now she is married to someone else.

She told me she doesn’t believe the heavy feeling will ever leave. She described it as a twenty-pound weight of anxiety constantly pressing on her chest. She said she still doesn’t feel like she can share her burdens and that the friends she does have only know about a quarter of what she’s actually going through.

I told her how hard that must be and shared how I once deeply related to her story. I asked if she felt like she always had to be the one to fix everything, because I used to feel that way too. I began sharing my testimony, how I had a similar experience growing up, how I carried everyone else’s burdens, and how I met a guy and still ended up feeling broken. Then I told her about the day I met Jesus– on the floor of my friend’s apartment.

She started crying.

I told her about the love of the Father, how He tells us to cast our anxieties on Him because He cares for us. I explained how He is the one who takes our heavy burdens, how He invites us to give them to Him. He will never be weighed down by them. He wants us to be free from anxiety. I shared how the twenty-pound weight I once carried lifted when I met Jesus and was filled with peace. I told her that no human was ever meant to carry what only God Himself could. He is a good Father.

Still crying, she began telling me how her roommate had encountered Jesus months ago and had been completely transformed. She said that when she asks him about struggles and how he deals with them, he always replies, “God’s got me.” She told me she had seen the evidence of transformation in his life again and again.
The Holy Spirit was heavy in that moment.

She apologized for crying, but I reminded her that Jesus has seen every tear and has bottled them. I told her that He has been with her through every one of them, and that He sees her.

I asked if I could pray with her, and she said yes.

After I prayed, she remained still for a while. When she sat up, she said that many people had prayed for her before, but she had never experienced what she had just felt. I told her that it was the Holy Spirit. I shared the gospel with her. We talked about what it means to still struggle, yet be full of peace, like her roommate. She said she wasn’t sure she could ever think differently or stop carrying anxiety.

I explained what it means to be born again, to go from death to life. I told her about the transformation Christ brings when we surrender and invite Him in.

She began to cry again, but had to leave to meet her husband. I told her I’d love to meet again. She hugged me tightly, and we talked about when we could meet next.

Pray for deliverance from anxiety and for her heart to continue to soften. Pray for an encounter! Pray for Hannah!